ISAIAH 61 CONFERENCE
Church of Glad Tidings — Yuba City, California
“Instead of shame & dishonor, you will enjoy a double share of honor. You will possess a double portion of prosperity in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.” ~Isaiah 61:7
Tears stream down my cheeks as I recite the words Alicia is saying: “spirit of rejection, get out in Jesus’ name.” Suddenly, something grips my throat and I feel scared. She can see the fear in my eyes and eases my spirit by speaking directly to the fear and assuring me I am safe.
I’m in the midst of what I would consider my very first true deliverance session. It’s unlike any prayer session I’ve sat through before. The Spirit of the Lord is present, not that He wasn’t in previous prayer sessions, but something is different about this one.
After sitting with the Lord and asking Him, I realize, it’s because the woman walking me through deliverance has experienced it herself. She is able to navigate me through the foreign waters because she herself has navigated them.
Years ago, when my foundation of faith was first being established, I was taught this wisdom from a woman I would consider a spiritual mentor in my life: “you cannot lead a person someone you haven’t yet been yourself.”
To lead a person to forgiveness, you must have walked through forgiveness first.
To lead a person to deliverance, you must have walked through deliverance first.
Alicia has been delivered. And continues to be delivered. On a daily basis. Deliverance isn’t a one-and-done type of event. Deliverance is a continuous experience. Something we need to walk through continuously as we draw near to Christ, conforming to His likeness & image.
Before today, doubt resided in my mind, resisting the idea of what deliverance really was. People falling over, screaming, writhing like snakes … is that for real, Lord?
But as faithful as the Lord is, He showed me first-hand how deliverance is not only real but vital.
“For there is nothing hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be known and come out into the open.” ~Luke 8:17
As I entered the prayer session, I knew some of the baggage I was carrying: past pain, heartache, spirit of rejection … the list goes on. But what I didn’t know was there was so much more hidden deep inside which would become evident and brought out into the open.
As Alicia prayed over me, asking God for discernment, she began to pray against any blood sacrifices which were performed from past generations in my family.
Blood sacrifices?! What??? Is this for real?!
But deep inside, I knew it was.
As she began to pray the words, the demonic spirit which was stuck in my throat, desperately clinging to stay inside, clinched my throat. Everything constricted in my esophagus and I knew she was onto something.
Tears streaked my cheeks and fell to the floor as she continued to pray for any curses spoken over myself or previous generations to be broken in Jesus name. And for any blood sacrifices to be broken off in Jesus name.
My body was responding to the truth in the spirit.
Whether I believed the curses were true or not suddenly became a moot point. I couldn’t deny how the Spirit of God was affirming her discernment and my body was confirming it.
A strange cry came out of my throat. It was a sound I’ve never heard myself make before.
We continued to pray into the areas I knew I needed deliverance from and those which were hidden and perceived through discernment of prayer.
Our session concluded with an inner-healing exercise where my current self went back to the first moment I recalled in childhood of feeling real hurt & lack of safety. For me, it was the playground in 4th grade at a school I attended for a matter of months. The first time I experienced real bullying.
She walked me through an exercise where I stepped into that moment and spoke safety and love to the little girl inside me who was on the receiving end of so much hate. We invited Jesus into the moment and the little Amanda in me, that fractured part of myself which had been cut off for ‘safe keeping,’ was finally healed and brought back into restoration with who I am today — a woman who knows God loves her and is protecting her at all times.
To some, my experience will sound non-sensical or sensational. But it is to you, I write and share this experience.
You cannot lead someone somewhere you haven’t yet been yourself. So if you want to lead others to love or forgiveness, you must first go there yourself.
And if you want to lead others to freedom, YOU MUST FIRST GO THERE YOURSELF.
From my heart to yours,
Amanda
